Friday, July 8, 2016
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Friday, June 3, 2016
Monday, May 30, 2016
Monday, May 16, 2016
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Lost in the bush
LOST IN THE BUSH
September 31st, 3:pm, 2013
“Ow!” I cried, glancing at my cousin angrilly. It was a big sunny day and my family was taking a walk on the hills, let me introdoce mys-Yikes! I soon felt my body falling of the track and strait into the river. I swam towards the shore, hoping to find my family looking for me. But guess what? No-one was there. “NOOOO!!!”
I screamed. But wait! Something was moving behind a tree! What is it? Is it a wolf? Cow? Dog?
But it was not any of those. It was a sheep. Wow. I was just SO freaked out that I almost wet my pants! Anyway, I got up to shore and started looking for some food. My mind was spinning with thoughts like: Where are my parents? Do my parents know im lost? How will I get home? Will I survive? Who will come and get me? Is there any food? Thats how my mind was spinning. The horrifying gun sound suddenly filled the woods. Is that a hunter or was that my head? It was an hunter. “YESSSS!” I cried of exitement. The smell of sandwitchs suddenly tickiled my nose. A thought popped up in my mind. I have to follow that smell! And thats what I did.
The wet, thick grass tickiled my ankles on my journey but I did’nt care. I was just worried about my family and that how im all alone in a long, silent forest with dangrous strangers prawling aroud. I finally reached the sandwiches but I could’nt be seen so my feet took me to a nearby tree and I ducked behind it. “Watch out, kiddo!!!” A voice called to me, followed bry a gun noise again.
“So thats why you warned me” I yelled. Then the hunter replied: “Did’nt you’re parents tell you not to talk to strangers, kid?” “You talked to me first!!!!!!” I shouted, annoyed. We were fighting for so long that I almost forgot that I was lost with no-one around, well except the hunter of course. Six hours had passed by and we were huddled around a warm (Maybe too warm), comfy campfire. “So tell me kiddo, whats your name?” Asked the hunter. “Jae-WAIT!!! Your gonna kidnap me!! Im calling the police!!!!!!” I yelled, afraid.
“Relax Mate!!! I can help you” said the hunter. “Ok, I trust you with my life. So whats your name, sir?” I asked calmly. “Carl, Whats yours?” Carl replied. So I told carl and then asked if I could keep one of his pistols and he said I could. I thanked him and then climed into my green camping tent. The next morning I told carl I’m going to explore the woods and thats when I noticed some familiar people jogging towards us, well ME. And I relised who they were: MUM AND DAD!!!!!!!! (OH AND ALSO MY NANA!!!!!!! ) “JAEDYON!!!!!!” They all cried in relife. And then I said my hi’s then we
got on with the gross stuff. We got in the car and had a happy ending. But wait! What about my cousins? (Sigh)!
Reflection
One thing I got better at was (explain & give an example) …Adding humor. Heres a example: I was so scared I almost wet my pants!
How I got better at this was …..By using it a lot in my story and others.
What I still need help with is ...Making more sense in my stories so I get more feedback.
WHAT’s GOOD? One thing that I am most pleased with is ...How it has lots of WOW words and paragraphs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)